I’d this that this week has so far been a joke. Or a prank. Whatever it is, it ain’t funny.
So I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I lashed out at the team. I don’t have so many hands to hold the fort, block the dam, filter the dirt and tie the loose ends. ALL AT ONCE.
What I feel now is just…numbness. You know honestly I don’t think an apology does anything now. Anyone can say sorry and not mean it. I can also flood the email with my tears and blood. Bottom line is, what’s the point when it does NOTHING?! -does not understand-
I’ve been so distracted by this that I’ve been a very bad sport and flustered soul, to the point that I even messed up my ADM submission. Not that these events are related but when everything lands on me at once it just becomes like shit being stirred together simultaneously.
I asked myself why I let all this happen. Do you think I’m a masochist? Obviously not. I have high expectations not because I want people like T and YC to think that I’m capable. I have high expectations because I know there’s so much potential for greater things to be done. I have strict guidelines not because I’m trying to show you that I’m the boss so listen to me, but because it’s ridiculous to take MONTHS to come up with a spreadsheet! I am pissed because this is not my job, it is yours. I am losing it because on top of coping with all these nonsense I’m supposed to keep mum and say as little as I can to T. YOU TELL ME HOW TO DO THIS. It’s like asking a baby to control her bowel movements.
I can go on about this all day and all night.
God You don’t know how thankful I am that it’s 10:17AM and I’ve yet to receive anymore emails.