The Shower - Edward Elgar
Cloud, if as thou dost melt, and with thy train
Of drops make soft the Earth, my eyes could weep
O’er my hard heart, that’s bound up and asleep;
Perhaps at last,
Some such showers past,
My God would give a sunshine after rain.
I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.
You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.
Oh plunge me deep in love — put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.
I have tons to think and pray about. God is probably going to be quite busy with me.
Uni camp is coming in 50 days’ time and I’m holding onto a blank canvas right now. As much as I’m thankful for being the opportunity to play a really huge role in crafting the entire visual direction for the camp…… I think there’s an innate part of me that really wished I was working with the studiomate instead. Do I call this a bad habit? Is this a pride issue? It’s just…… I NEED TO GET OVER THIS. AND GET PRODUCTIVE. Need to pray. Really need to go to a mountain and seek God about this. I’ll get over this soon, I promise.
Conference is also coming this weekend and I’d say I’m very much looking forward to it. I’ve no specific conference objectives… I just really want to go there and receive big time from God.
Starting this week I’m also returning to my role as a shepherd after a year’s hiatus and stepping up to be a core team member in the new lifegroup. Ahhhhh. I took on these new roles with great anxiety and fear due to past experiences and failures which I shall not repeat those stories anymore. But after a period of prayer and talking to leaders… I’m ready. God will make up for whatever lack I have. I think it’s going to be an exciting journey.
And…… then… there’s something else.
I really need to seek God like never ever ever ever before.
Today we went to the ADM grad show together - me, Chiewy and Gabbi (we rhyme!). I was once again reminded of how far God has brought me and blessed me with in the past year. One year ago, Chiewy and I went to the grad show at Old School after climbing 987654321 flights of stairs -pant pant- and I remembered very clearly her pointing to the sign saying “visual communication” and telling me “this will be you next time”.
How true that has become today.
And last year we were two. This year we are three.
So blessed, so blessed.
So, we both received the same word from God.
So, what’s next for Studio Wong?
We don’t want to be just another design studio.
We don’t want to be just another design duo.
God will You just guide us?
Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild
With that, a semester has ended. A year has ended. My freshmen year has ended. Time to face myself and do a self-check.
So at the start of the semester I prayed for greater things with Jesus. It’s been a very rough semester in and out of school. I’ve been forced into a corner for many things and when you’re forced into a corner there’s no other way for you but to climb upwards. I faced many persecutions and fell into deep depressions, many times gripped by fear and breaking out into panic attacks. I faced the same old problems about authority and trust again. Time and time again I went back to the same old question of whether I should be in ADM. And time after time I was told to question myself this one big question in my heart regarding this certain area of my life. Person after person came to talk to me about the relationship aspect of my life and after every single time I’ll sink into a cycle of self-doubt and reflection. I was losing my grip and facade of strength at home. I had the greatest impression that I had issues with myself.
In short this semester seemed to be one of persecution, struggle and confusion.
And as summer break draws near, I pray a simple prayer that God will just break these chains and release me. Because I’m thankful that amidst such an extended time of chaos, He made a way for me to emerge out of this alive.
Though my soul may set in darkness,The Old Astronomer, Sarah Williams
it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
to be fearful of the night.
